Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright

Hi everybody! How are you all doing today? Today, I’m going to share my personal struggle about anxiety. But first of all, let me share a little about my life back in the Philippines. Back then, I would say I was a happy young lady. I love to laugh; love to sing; love to dance, and love to go socialize with friends. It’s not that I’m not happy now. It’s just that it’s a different level of happiness.

Back then all I think is how to get the house chores done quick so I could do something for myself, or go see my friends and play volleyball ( gosh, I love volleyball ). However, when I got married and have children everything changed. Being in a foreign country with no one else from your family living close to you is very hard. I get homesick a lot. Every single day I have to think about my children’s future. Would you believe if I will tell you that I barely treat myself for seven years with something that every woman would do like shopping, hang out with friends, a road trip with friends, or even go to a nail salon and have manicure and pedicure? The only reason why I was okay with all of those things I mentioned was that I’m a mom now and my little boys need my attention and my time. Especially having children who were both born prematurely. My eldest son was 25 and a half weeks only when I had him. Weighed 1lb-7oz. Height: 1 foot long ( 12 inches ). Had heart surgery when he was only 9 days old. Then after months, he also had eye surgery. Overall, he spent close to five months and had been in different hospitals.

My firstborn after his heart surgery.
Me, holding my firstborn.
This is him now. My firstborn. His name is Christian.
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With my youngest son, I almost lost him when I was three months pregnant. I was working part-time at a shoe store; standing all day long; lifting boxes and etc. One day, I got sick, went to the clinic to see my doctor only to discover that I was three months pregnant and at that very moment I was going to lose my baby anytime. I was rushed to the hospital and put on complete bed rest. Fast forward, I made it to my seven months of pregnancy with all those medicines they gave me and the steroid shots they gave me on my buttock every week to hold the baby a little longer.

My second child, Phillip. Weighed a little over 3lbs.
After he had a blood transfusion. He was over a month old in this photo. 
This is Phillip now. He’s a little cranky now and then, but he is sweet.

Having them are the greatest feeling in the world. Before I felt alone, but I don’t feel it now, thank God! Though I still worry things, I think that’s normal as a parent. I don’t even worry about myself and my health. I’m worried about my children’s future. Praying for their bright future. I wanna see their success. I wanna see them have their own families. So many things I worry every day. I’m sure all parents can relate to this. Despite all the worries I have, at the end of the day, I tell myself “everything is going to be alright”. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you are in a situation like me, believe that everything is going to be alright. Have faith in God!

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